...spiritually that is. I have been having problems praying... i mean last year i had gotten to a rosary a day a divine mercy in there family prayer and was working my way up to morning devotion. But it's all gone south somehow. so i need to get out of this dry season funk that i'm in and i was blog surfing instead of studying.. as usual.. and i came across two posts. one is 7 Reason I Stink at Praying over at NCRegister, and i got 6 out of 7, maybe 7 out of 7 coz when have i ever lacked pride. The main ones are that I am lazy to the point of being slothful sometimes, I am a thinker, I get super distracted and everything seems honkey dory in control right now. There is so much i should pray for and i have every intention of doing so, but the prayer is very nearly none existent or very distracted if i’m not saying it aloud in some group or the other.
At TOB yesterday we did the son of songs and the marriage of Tobias and Sarah and i read out Tobias prayer, he was so in touch with what the Lord willed. and i need that to be in touch to know what He wants, but i’m very nearly apathetic at the moment it would be scary if not for the apathy.
and the other post was by Fr. Longenecker called The Problems With Possession. closer to the bottom he mentions that the first demonic level is temptation and the second level is obsession. to say i have an addictive obsessive personality well… lets say its goes without saying. the apathy does not help much and when the temptation comes… and yes it comes… it’s not even a struggle to say no coz it seems like i don't even try to say no… i accept it for the temptation it is and all my Jedi temptation fighting techniques i put on the side and just give in to the temptation.
so it made me realise that not only do i need to pray, but to try and overcome these 7 reasons that make me stink at it. i mean i don't wanna become demon possessed now do i…