25 January 2006


bought me a pda for 12euro... so much for it being an assistant... i seem to use it less than i do my Handy... and as well know i use my Handy a whole lot ;)



15 January 2006


i slept... went to my room to read the bible and all that and slept... the whole afternoon... only to stuff myself afterwards with chicken and potatoes... so much for my diet

and still adding stuff to my confession...

went to rosary and mass today, as always i went up front right, the mass was after rosary, and then afte a while people trickled in, and here i had thought hmm Friday mass would be very empty, i see these kids and wonder why they aren't in school, and then this Frau two seats away asks the man next to her 'who is she, i don#t know her. I (should) know everyone...' and i am thinking OK poor lady, and then she is crying and i am saying Lord please comfort her and then suddenly it clicks, the light in my head goes plotzlich an... it is a memorial or funeral mass... OH GOD and i am seated upfront at the seat with the immediate family... a disappearing act right then would have been marvelous and as i am contemplating moving it is too late as mass has begun, then i think no biggie, but for more than 3 quarters of mass i was so uncomfortable thinking of the white family members sitting behind me asking themselves who is that black girl up front... i even debated whether to go for communion or not.. that bad... at the peace the priest took my hand so that kind of calmed me some... wie peinlich... anyway i have never practically ran out of mass like i did today... and i did catch a few wondering stares on my way out... oh well they have a new family mystery.. the black girl up front...



11 January 2006

and still jan...

new plans... went to rwth today.. does not look good but will still look into it if it is an option and for Dass as well i think... dreaming of having a masters that's me!

A herb garden for Ute?hmm

cooking with peanut butter and

... i have forgotten...

and learn 11 new word of German and French a day

and tomorrow is last day of emirates holiday...

nyr9: read through the bible by next year... and i have 12 days to catch up on... yippee



10 January 2006

still jan...

went to bball today... the ladies 4th is doomed... no other words fit... doomed...then i went to an einkehrabend at Heristal... it was cool... the priest talked about following our stars and of the search of hearts... searching for love and happiness and how that brings us together and unites us and how we can achieve that by accepting the Lord and leading holy lives... we then had benediction and an examination of conscience and lets say 'me' is sadly lacking... measured and found wanting... so i have decided (again) to try and do better.... we then had a talk from Frau Casanova i have forgotten her first name... and she talked on holiness, what the popes message was what St Josefmaria mesg was JP2 and whole lot of other references she had... and it was enlightening... so adding to my nyr:

nyr7: become holier... how by doing my best doing my duty to God serving other people and keeping the law... OK spouting the guide law here but that is the essence when we think of it.. when i do my work good and offer it as a prayer to God, then i am doing my best and doing my duty to him, in this i serve other people and in whatever id o try to keep the laws of God as well as the laws of men... once a guide always a guide... and today went well... better than in a long while.. smiles all around and all that... coincidence you say... bah say i... it is God showing himself to man.

nyr8: make God priority Numero Uno.. as Frau C pointed out there are 1440 minutes in the day... how many do i give God...well it's actually embarrassing that on some days practically none... and i like to call myself fromm, crayont... yeah right... so we are trying to increase that by some exponential factor... hope that works...

and they invited me to lunch on Sunday... yippee



9 January 2006

one step forward two steps back...

...the story of my life.... my diet fell out the wwindow today... ate chocolate and overate at supper... although i did increase water intake... thank God for small favours... and my tooth may have to come out after going for more than 6 preparatories for a root canal... my idea of fun.... and OD info search not going very good plan on visiting the centre tomorrow if i have time... and praying.. well not sure but leaning on the better side

8 January 2006


nd i have found more info on Opus D and well I hope they are what my soul is searching for...the talk with dass made a couple of things clear too... i need a support group and i need it fast... what a breakthru... now i gotta go bigarise...

have decide to start rewriting Danté Dine, (Dine is now Dina... wow that was inspired), and i have finished putting the changeable plot on paper and a couple of explosive scenes and some skeletons in dire need of flesh... well here goes...

and emirates apperantly has holidays till the 13... so i ahev to wait till then... ouch

and spent an hour 15 min on the fone to trbc... my phone bill :(



sie haben mich gern, wirklich... what can i say it's great to find i have friends here only problem being i am to leave this place soon, on Friday stella sent me a msg to go out and i did, it was fun we saw a movie, and today violetta and i went spazieren and then to a café. Totally fun to have girlfriends to hang with again... and yesterday had a long talk with Dass about what she is planning to do and on our spirituality and all that real long conversation... I live in fear of the phone bill... here i am supposed to be sparsam but it just does not seem to be working that way at the moment. Just hope i get this job then the only monetary worries i will have will be getting the medicals done... trbc just mesgd me she wants to come to Germany skiing... OK so will call her soon and find out what that is all about.. and Nessa called me too today, 'tis been a great weekend...



6 January 2006

new year

So the way i figure it one can take the whole month of January to sort out their new year resolutions but here goes for now

new year resolution 1: lose weight... ten kilo to be exact, and before then end of Feb... esp if i get the cabin crew job, i have to be within my BMI, which i was about 9 months ago... when i ha da practically vegetarian diet ... now that i live with “meatarians” i gained 12 kilo and i have to lose it fast... and theres is this diet which has on it day 3 liquid diet... now what is that supposed to mean? am i to liquefy stuff then eat it or am i to eat stuff that is already liquid without the joys of added sugar and carbon dioxide which leaves me with water, fruit juice, milk and... ummm that's it... unless if i add milk products which leaves me with low fat joghurt making a grand total of four things to consume on day 3.. the things we do to ourselves ...

nyr 2: pray more... i had gotten to the point were i prayed morning noon and evening and i have somehow slacked again... and i promised myself to go to confession often... last time was in august... i need a support group... that's why i am looking into OD, maybe they are for me, maybe not, we'll see

nyr 3: make a concious effort to contact all my friends ... don't i do that already? yeah so continue maybe and not lose touch as i kinda did this yeah... my phone bill says otherwise... sigh

nyr 4: distance learning... yep i have to do my masters whether i am working or not... actually i have to be working no two ways about that

nyr 5: get a job... would love to cabin crew at the mo, but if that does not work out i have to actively job hunt... and who knows i might actually get a great job where i do not have to lose weight...

nyr 6: publish my books... well i have to rewrite the manuscripts first don't i... considering that i lost both of them... or maybe just forget those two and continue with nr 3 and get that one published... decisions, decisions...


first post.... or is it

i know i have done this before and i have lost all passwords for previous blogs... etc, so here a new first blog.. hopefully the last of the firsts... just decided my voice needs to be represented on the net again so here goes... i am at the moment waiting for emirates to get hold of me.. applied to be cabin crew and the wait is killing me... and i am researching opus dei coz it sond like a great vocation for me... sense a little conflict there.. opus dei very catholic; emirates very islamic... oh well we'll see how it turns out....and it is way too late for me to up anyway... better go to bed before my guest father freaks out that i am still online... guest father? yep me be au-pair, me after kids look... don't u just luv the new service society we live in... waxless...
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