4 November 2006

it's hot....

the temperatures in Harare are scorching, i was sweating like a pig by 7:30am this morning... that's the Africansun for you. Was reading on bbc.com about how China has pledged to double its aid to Africa and provide $5bn in loans and credits over the next three years. I don't know whether to rejoice or cry at that coz we need the aid, but at what expense, there is nothing for mahala, so is it only business on the Chinese side or just more debt for the African continent. I just hope that it is sustainable investment, aimed at helping the working man so as to decrease the astronomical inflation that Zim is facing... i mean at this rate we will be facing inflation of 2000% by the new year

25 October 2006

my session presentation

so i was in charge of session today, and this is what i did.... a lot of it was copied off the web :D

Holiness is a purity of the heart, undefiled, separate from sin(ners). We cannot become holy without the Spirit of God. Galatians 5:22 tells us that the characteristics of holiness are nine-fold: "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

Living holy is not only pleasing to God, it is displeasing to those who work evil in the world. To live as a follower of Christ and to love your neighbors as yourself is an act of spiritual warfare against evil. The struggle can be waged by acts as simple as :

telling the truth instead of lying,

treating people with respect instead of cussing them out,

listening instead of blowing someone off,

ordering vegetable juice instead of a daiquiri.

It could be :

some gentle words for your girlfriend,

a helping hand to an elderly woman in a store,

an act of kindness to a stranger, just to be kind.

keeping your lifestyle simple and less upper-class than your neighbor's.

You could choose to do something else, and that idea would not usually be from the Devil. But that idea would still have to be chosen *against* when there is a more Christlike response to be chosen *for*. Thus it could be something like :

choosing not to abort your child,

choosing not to throw your punch or draw your knife,

choosing not to walk out on your marriage,

choosing to stop trying to be a recording star so you can have time to work with troubled teens.

Holiness is the habit of being of one mind with God, according as we find His mind described in Scripture. It is the habit of agreeing in God's judgement-hating what He hates-loving what He loves-and measuring everything in this world by the standard of His Word. He who most entirely agrees with God, he is the most holy man.

A holy man will endeavour to shun every known sin, and to keep every known commandment. He will have a decided bent of mind toward God, a hearty desire to do His will-a greater fear of displeasing Him than of displeasing the world, and a love to all His ways. He will feel what Paul felt when he said, "I delight in the law of God after the inward man" (Rom. 7:22), and what David felt when he said, "I esteem all Thy precepts concerning all things to be right, and I hate every false way" (Psalm 119:128).

A holy man will strive to be like our Lord Jesus Christ. He will not only live the life of faith in Him, and draw from Him all his daily peace and strength, but he will also labour to have the mind that was in Him, and to be "conformed to His image" (Rom. 8:29). It will be his aim to bear with and forgive others, even as Christ forgave us-to be unselfish, even as Christ pleased not Himself-to walk in love, even as Christ loved us-to be lowly-minded and humble, even as Christ made Himself of no reputation and humbled Himself. He will remember that Christ was a faithful witness for the truth-that He came not to do His own will-that it was His meat and drink to do His Father's will-that He would continually deny Himself in order to minister to others-that He was meek and patient under undeserved insults-that He thought more of godly poor men than of kings-that He was full of love and compassion to sinners-that He was bold and uncompromising in denouncing sin-that He sought not the praise of men, when He might have had it-that He went about doing good-that He was separate from worldly people-that He continued instant in prayer-that He would not let even His nearest relations stand in His way when God's work was to be done. These things a holy man will try to remember. By them he will endeavour to shape his course in life. He will lay to heart the saying of John, "He that saith he abideth in Christ ought himself also so to walk, even as He walked" (1 John 2:6); and the saying of Peter, that "Christ suffered for us, leaving us an example that ye should follow His steps" (1 Peter 2:21). Happy is he who has learned to make Christ his "all", both for salvation and example! Much time would be saved, and much sin prevented, if men would oftener ask themselves the question, "What would Christ have said and done, if He were in my place?"

A holy man will follow after meekness, long-suffering, gentleness, patience, kind tempers, government of his tongue. He will bear much, forbear much, overlook much, and be slow to talk of standing on his rights. We see a bright example of this in the behaviour of David when Shimei cursed him-and of Moses when Aaron and Miriam spake against him (2 Sam. 16:10; Num. 12:3).

A holy man will follow after temperance and self-denial. He will labour to mortify the desires of his body-to crucify his flesh with his affections and lusts-to curb his passions-to restrain his carnal inclinations, lest at any time they break loose. Oh, what a word is that of the Lord Jesus to the Apostles, "Take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting and drunkenness, and cares of this life" (Luke 21:34); and that of the Apostle Paul, "I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection, lest that by any means when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway" (1 Cor. 9:27).

A holy man will follow after charity and brotherly kindness. He will endeavour to observe the golden rule of doing as he would have men do to him, and speaking as he would have men speak to him. He will be full of affection towards his brethren-towards their bodies, their property, their characters, their feelings, their souls. "He that loveth another," says Paul, "hath fulfilled the law" (Rom. 13:8). He will abhor all lying, slandering, backbiting, cheating, dishonesty, and unfair dealing, even in the least things. The shekel and cubit of the sanctuary were larger than those in common use. He will strive to adorn his religion by all his outward demeanour, and to make it lovely and beautiful in the eyes of all around him. Alas, what condemning words are the 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians, and the Sermon on the Mount, when laid alongside the conduct of many professing Christians!

A holy man will follow after a spirit of mercy and benevolence towards others. He will not stand all the day idle. He will not be content with doing no harm-he will try to do good. He will strive to be useful in his day and generation, and to lessen the spiritual wants and misery around him, as far as he can. Such was Dorcas, "full of good works and almsdeeds, which she did,"-not merely purposed and talked about, but did. Such an one was Paul: "I will very gladly spend and be spent for you," he says, "though the more abundantly I love you the less I be loved" (Acts 9:36; 2 Cor. 12:15).

A holy man will follow after purity of heart. He will dread all filthiness and uncleanness of spirit, and seek to avoid all things that might draw him into it. He knows his own heart is like tinder, and will diligently keep clear of the sparks of temptation. Who shall dare to talk of strength when David can fall? There is many a hint to be gleaned from the ceremonial law. Under it the man who only touched a bone, or a dead body, or a grave, or a diseased person, became at once unclean in the sight of God. And these things were emblems and figures. Few Christians are ever too watchful and too particular about this point.

A holy man will follow after the fear of God. I do not mean the fear of a slave, who only works because he is afraid of punishment, and would be idle if he did not dread discovery. I mean rather the fear of a child, who wishes to live and move as if he was always before his father's face, because he loves him. What a noble example Nehemiah gives us of this! When he became Governor at Jerusalem he might have been chargeable to the Jews and required of them money for his support. The former Governors had done so. There was none to blame him if he did. But he says, "So did not I, because of the fear of God" (Neh. 5:15).

A holy man will follow after humility. He will desire, in lowliness of mind, to esteem all others better than himself. He will see more evil in his own heart than in any other in the world. He will understand something of Abraham's feeling, when he says, "I am dust and ashes;"-and Jacob's, when he says, "I am less than the least of all Thy mercies;"-and Job's, when he says, "I am vile;"-and Paul's, when he says, "I am chief of sinners." Holy Bradford, that faithful martyr of Christ, would sometimes finish his letters with these words, "A most miserable sinner, John Bradford." Good old Mr. Grimshaw's last words, when he lay on his death-bed, were these, "Here goes an unprofitable servant."

A holy man will follow after faithfulness in all the duties and relations in life. He will try, not merely to fill his place as well as others who take no thought for their souls, but even better, because he has higher motives, and more help than they. Those words of Paul should never be forgotten, "Whatever ye do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord,"-"Not slothful in business, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord" (Col. 3:23; Rom. 12:11). Holy persons should aim at doing everything well, and should be ashamed of allowing themselves to do anything ill if they can help it. Like Daniel, they should seek to give no "occasion" against themselves, except "concerning the law of their God" (Dan. 6:5). They should strive to be good husbands and good wives, good neighbours, good friends, good subjects, good in private and good in public, good in the place of business and good by their firesides. Holiness is worth little indeed, if it does not bear this kind of fruit. The Lord Jesus puts a searching question to His people, when He says, "What do ye more than others?" (Mt. 5:47).

Last, but not least, a holy man will follow after spiritual mindedness. He will endeavour to set his affections entirely on things above, and to hold things on earth with a very loose hand. He will not neglect the business of the life that now is; but the first place in his mind and thoughts will be given to the life to come. He will aim to live like one whose treasure is in heaven, and to pass through this world like a stranger and pilgrim travelling to his home. To commune with God in prayer, in the Bible, and in the assembly of His people-these things will be the holy man's chiefest enjoyments. He will value every thing and place and company, just in proportion as it draws him nearer to God. He will enter into something of David's feeling, when he says, "My soul followeth hard after Thee." "Thou art my portion" (Psalm 63:8; 119:57).

A Holy Moment

(Supplies: Candles with drip guards, a 3X5 card with "GOD" written on it.)

Place the candles in a circle on the floor in your church sanctuary; then have everyone sit in a circle surrounding the candles.

Hold the GOD card in your hand and say:

When you're given this card, tell the group about a time you experienced God's holiness. After you've shared, hand the card to someone who hasn't yet shared. I'll give you time to think, but if you haven't spoken within a minute or so after receiving the card, I'll ask if you'd like to pass.

Ask the group to stand up and follow you in single file. Tell them you're going on a hunt for holy places in your church. Wander throughout your church (classrooms, bathrooms, closets, offices, and so on) and end the hunt at the door to your sanctuary. Ask everyone to sit where they usually sit during the worship service. (They'll probably spread out.)


What were you thinking when we started out looking for holy places in our church?

What was the most holy place?

Is this a holier place than other places in the church? Why or why not?

What makes this place different than other places in the church?

Do those differences dictate that we should act differently in this place than in other places, such as home or school? Why or why not?

Ask everyone to gather around the candles again. Have them each take a candle. Turn out the lights, and light your one candle. Read aloud Psalm 95:1-7. Pass the light to the person beside you, and have kids continue passing the light until all candles are lit. Then reread verses 6-7.

Say: Let's be absolutely still. The psalmist tells us to bow down in worship and kneel before the Lord. Let's do that. (Ask everyone to get on their knees.) The psalmist says we belong to God and God takes care of us. Think of your candle as God's light reflecting on you. What would you like to say to God at this moment? I'll start us off...

When kids finish praying, ask them to sit in silence for one minute. At the end of the silence ask them to blow out their candles but keep absolutely quiet. Ask them to follow you in silence back to your meeting area.

2. Hiding from God — (Supplies: You'll need a large grocery sack for each person.)

Gather in a circle. Ask:

What feelings did you have during our experience in the sanctuary just now?

What made that a holy time for our group?

Give kids each a grocery sack and ask them to cover their head with it. Tell kids to stand up and mill around the room speaking to each other. Tell them they cannot remove their sacks. After a minute or so, ask kids to gather back in a circle with their sacks still in place.


What did you notice about trying to talk to people with a sack on your head?

How would our experience in the sanctuary have been different if we'd been wearing these sacks?

In what ways does this experience remind you of obstacles that keep us from having holy times with God?

Read aloud Psalm 100. Say:

We're told to worship the Lord with gladness, to give thanks, and to praise his name. When we do that we enter into a holy fellowship with God. That means there are lots of opportunities for holy experiences if we look for them. It's not just a worship service thing.

Close with prayer, thanking God for those holy times the group has shared together.

18 October 2006

new blog look .... getting there

kinda... if nothing esle i have learnt how to use css, and do quite abit of layout stuff... now to get the coulours anf fonts just right <sigh> my studying is not going well at all, i am like two days behind, have to call gibs and tell him i need more time, the study guide is great but it has so much extra stuff that it's unbeliavable... and i ahve to call the girls and tell them girl guides is cancelled this week, and i have to but me a luch box... a day in di's life <sigh>


16 October 2006

11 October 2006

was reading my bible last night...

... and the devotional passage that came with the reading i found very profound... it's froma my bible and is written by Hannah Whittal Smith

God is Enough

The greatest lesson a soul has to learn is that God, and God alone, is enough for all its needs. This is the lesson that all God's dealings with us are meant to teach, and this is the crowning discovery of our entire Christian life: GOD IS ENOUGH!
No soul can really be at rest until it has given up dependance on everything else and has been forced to depend on the Lord alone. As long as our expectation is from other things, nothing but disappointment awaits us. Feelings may change, doctrines and dogmas may bee upset, the christian work may come to naught, prayers may seem to lose their fervency, promises may seem to fail, everything that we have believed in or depended on may seem to fail, everything that we have believed in or depended on may seem to be swept away, and only God is left - just  God, the bare God if I may be allowed the expression, simply and only God.
If God is what he would seem to be from his revelings; if he is indeed the "God of all comfort" (2 Corinthians 1:3); if he is our shepherd; if he is really and truly our Fahter; if, in short, all the many aspects he has told us of his character and his ways are actually true, then we must come to the positive conviction that he is, in himself enough for all our needsand that we may safely rest in him absolutely and forever


Light a Candle

The innocent victims of Internet child abuse cannot speak for themselves.

But you can.

With your help, we can eradicate this evil trade.

We do not need your money.

We need you to light a candle of support <http://www.lightamillioncandles.com>.

We're aiming to light at least One Million Candles by December 31, 2006.

This petition will be used to encourage governments, politicians, financial institutions, payment organisations, Internet service providers, technology companies and law enforcement agencies to eradicate the commercial viability of online child abuse.

They have the power to work together. You have the power to get them to take action.

Please light your candle at lightamillioncandles.com < http://www.lightamillioncandles.com> or send an email of support to light@lightamillioncandles.com.

Together, we can destroy the commercial viability of Internet child abuse sites that are destroying the lives of innocent children.

Kindly forward this email to your friends, relatives and work colleagues so that they can light a candle too.

5 October 2006

no no no no no no NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

my computer has been attacked massive... it's got so many viruses had it been HIV this would be the worst case of full blown AIDS ever, i left it scanning last night before i went home, back in the office and it's still scanning... 785 minutes and counting... you don't want to know the number of virus instances found.... uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... oh well, 'tis sad i tell u, real sad

3 October 2006

wasted day

yep that's today... just urfed and did jack... child you have a mock ina days time... someone get that into my dysfunctional brain....

2 October 2006

ocotber is breast cancer month

since i have a job with internet connection i will actually begin to feed this blog, my contributuion for today being the pink ribbon... yep breast cancer month is here, did not actually buy this ribbon but awareness is always a good thing... on the breastcancersite.com there is link where u click to help fund free mammograms... jsut by clicking and not paying jack... so if it helps i'm all for it... ciao

29 September 2006

kinda funny

got this in an email :D

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

25 September 2006


lets see how it goes this time round... that is the blogging thing... i mean how long has it been since i last blogged... here goes nothing

13 February 2006

on 80 odd kilos

was dieting with ute... went weell for a week... now we are bth of the wagon fo four days.... to start again to morrow... stuff myself with cake today....:D



10 February 2006

a new day

so another new day... went to church with ricarda and it was a mass for confirmation applicants and i took a prayer intention written by one of the applicants. The applicant is asking for help with its faith... that's what the prayer states... u know spreading the love and all that... even have to light a candle when i say a prayer for the child... hmm must think up a prayer in my own words too... forgot to ask when i can go for confession though... maybe tomorrow at OD



7 February 2006

i need mo money

my phone bill was €41...




25 January 2006


bought me a pda for 12euro... so much for it being an assistant... i seem to use it less than i do my Handy... and as well know i use my Handy a whole lot ;)



15 January 2006


i slept... went to my room to read the bible and all that and slept... the whole afternoon... only to stuff myself afterwards with chicken and potatoes... so much for my diet

and still adding stuff to my confession...

went to rosary and mass today, as always i went up front right, the mass was after rosary, and then afte a while people trickled in, and here i had thought hmm Friday mass would be very empty, i see these kids and wonder why they aren't in school, and then this Frau two seats away asks the man next to her 'who is she, i don#t know her. I (should) know everyone...' and i am thinking OK poor lady, and then she is crying and i am saying Lord please comfort her and then suddenly it clicks, the light in my head goes plotzlich an... it is a memorial or funeral mass... OH GOD and i am seated upfront at the seat with the immediate family... a disappearing act right then would have been marvelous and as i am contemplating moving it is too late as mass has begun, then i think no biggie, but for more than 3 quarters of mass i was so uncomfortable thinking of the white family members sitting behind me asking themselves who is that black girl up front... i even debated whether to go for communion or not.. that bad... at the peace the priest took my hand so that kind of calmed me some... wie peinlich... anyway i have never practically ran out of mass like i did today... and i did catch a few wondering stares on my way out... oh well they have a new family mystery.. the black girl up front...



11 January 2006

and still jan...

new plans... went to rwth today.. does not look good but will still look into it if it is an option and for Dass as well i think... dreaming of having a masters that's me!

A herb garden for Ute?hmm

cooking with peanut butter and

... i have forgotten...

and learn 11 new word of German and French a day

and tomorrow is last day of emirates holiday...

nyr9: read through the bible by next year... and i have 12 days to catch up on... yippee



10 January 2006

still jan...

went to bball today... the ladies 4th is doomed... no other words fit... doomed...then i went to an einkehrabend at Heristal... it was cool... the priest talked about following our stars and of the search of hearts... searching for love and happiness and how that brings us together and unites us and how we can achieve that by accepting the Lord and leading holy lives... we then had benediction and an examination of conscience and lets say 'me' is sadly lacking... measured and found wanting... so i have decided (again) to try and do better.... we then had a talk from Frau Casanova i have forgotten her first name... and she talked on holiness, what the popes message was what St Josefmaria mesg was JP2 and whole lot of other references she had... and it was enlightening... so adding to my nyr:

nyr7: become holier... how by doing my best doing my duty to God serving other people and keeping the law... OK spouting the guide law here but that is the essence when we think of it.. when i do my work good and offer it as a prayer to God, then i am doing my best and doing my duty to him, in this i serve other people and in whatever id o try to keep the laws of God as well as the laws of men... once a guide always a guide... and today went well... better than in a long while.. smiles all around and all that... coincidence you say... bah say i... it is God showing himself to man.

nyr8: make God priority Numero Uno.. as Frau C pointed out there are 1440 minutes in the day... how many do i give God...well it's actually embarrassing that on some days practically none... and i like to call myself fromm, crayont... yeah right... so we are trying to increase that by some exponential factor... hope that works...

and they invited me to lunch on Sunday... yippee



9 January 2006

one step forward two steps back...

...the story of my life.... my diet fell out the wwindow today... ate chocolate and overate at supper... although i did increase water intake... thank God for small favours... and my tooth may have to come out after going for more than 6 preparatories for a root canal... my idea of fun.... and OD info search not going very good plan on visiting the centre tomorrow if i have time... and praying.. well not sure but leaning on the better side

8 January 2006


nd i have found more info on Opus D and well I hope they are what my soul is searching for...the talk with dass made a couple of things clear too... i need a support group and i need it fast... what a breakthru... now i gotta go bigarise...

have decide to start rewriting Danté Dine, (Dine is now Dina... wow that was inspired), and i have finished putting the changeable plot on paper and a couple of explosive scenes and some skeletons in dire need of flesh... well here goes...

and emirates apperantly has holidays till the 13... so i ahev to wait till then... ouch

and spent an hour 15 min on the fone to trbc... my phone bill :(



sie haben mich gern, wirklich... what can i say it's great to find i have friends here only problem being i am to leave this place soon, on Friday stella sent me a msg to go out and i did, it was fun we saw a movie, and today violetta and i went spazieren and then to a café. Totally fun to have girlfriends to hang with again... and yesterday had a long talk with Dass about what she is planning to do and on our spirituality and all that real long conversation... I live in fear of the phone bill... here i am supposed to be sparsam but it just does not seem to be working that way at the moment. Just hope i get this job then the only monetary worries i will have will be getting the medicals done... trbc just mesgd me she wants to come to Germany skiing... OK so will call her soon and find out what that is all about.. and Nessa called me too today, 'tis been a great weekend...



6 January 2006

new year

So the way i figure it one can take the whole month of January to sort out their new year resolutions but here goes for now

new year resolution 1: lose weight... ten kilo to be exact, and before then end of Feb... esp if i get the cabin crew job, i have to be within my BMI, which i was about 9 months ago... when i ha da practically vegetarian diet ... now that i live with “meatarians” i gained 12 kilo and i have to lose it fast... and theres is this diet which has on it day 3 liquid diet... now what is that supposed to mean? am i to liquefy stuff then eat it or am i to eat stuff that is already liquid without the joys of added sugar and carbon dioxide which leaves me with water, fruit juice, milk and... ummm that's it... unless if i add milk products which leaves me with low fat joghurt making a grand total of four things to consume on day 3.. the things we do to ourselves ...

nyr 2: pray more... i had gotten to the point were i prayed morning noon and evening and i have somehow slacked again... and i promised myself to go to confession often... last time was in august... i need a support group... that's why i am looking into OD, maybe they are for me, maybe not, we'll see

nyr 3: make a concious effort to contact all my friends ... don't i do that already? yeah so continue maybe and not lose touch as i kinda did this yeah... my phone bill says otherwise... sigh

nyr 4: distance learning... yep i have to do my masters whether i am working or not... actually i have to be working no two ways about that

nyr 5: get a job... would love to cabin crew at the mo, but if that does not work out i have to actively job hunt... and who knows i might actually get a great job where i do not have to lose weight...

nyr 6: publish my books... well i have to rewrite the manuscripts first don't i... considering that i lost both of them... or maybe just forget those two and continue with nr 3 and get that one published... decisions, decisions...


first post.... or is it

i know i have done this before and i have lost all passwords for previous blogs... etc, so here a new first blog.. hopefully the last of the firsts... just decided my voice needs to be represented on the net again so here goes... i am at the moment waiting for emirates to get hold of me.. applied to be cabin crew and the wait is killing me... and i am researching opus dei coz it sond like a great vocation for me... sense a little conflict there.. opus dei very catholic; emirates very islamic... oh well we'll see how it turns out....and it is way too late for me to up anyway... better go to bed before my guest father freaks out that i am still online... guest father? yep me be au-pair, me after kids look... don't u just luv the new service society we live in... waxless...
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